During lunch today, my colleague S asked why is HR suddenly so desperate to get all of us to clear leave by Sep? I explained that it is a cost to them if they were to retrench us. It suddenly rang alarm bells for the first time since gloomy news of the recession has been going around. Shit, you mean that all this while I was still in la-la land???? I didn't realised this until S discussed about this???? OMGGGG!!!!!!! I didn't make any plans for myself. I stupidly thought I could hang on to this job forever........

Just only over the weekend I had argued with my mum (yet again.......). My mum was very against me bringing jeff to ent for behavioural testing and avt every 2 weeks. She finds it expensive and she also wants to delay the CI op even if Dr Lynne gives the green light. I argued wif her if jeff grows up to be developing much slower are we going to delay school for 2 years just like that Indonesian toddler? Or are we going to send jeff to the School for the deaf? My dad butted in and stopped the argument.

This is never ending. My mum and I have very different views on all sorts of issues and recently, our differences can be so varied that we will stand at opposite ends of the spectrum.

It was very discouraging for me. To me, it means that my son will have no future. As far as I know, the School for the Deaf does not award any paper qualifications that will allow graduates to carve a decent living for themselves. I seriously do not know of anyone who have managed to earn a living using their cert.

To me, going for the op will mean bringing jeff a means of living. The op will cost at least S$60k. Even if I keep $60K and willed it to Jeff, he will not be able to live on it. If we work on the basis a person needs $12k per year to live on, this money will run out in 5 years. So where does it leave Jeff? There is no place for him in society. Government is not going to clothe him or shelter him. They will also expect him to work for his own living. There's no shelter for the homeless or homes for the jobless.

After the op, at least to me, Jeff will have a chance in mainstream school, to earn the bare minimum educational qualification. At least keep a job that will see that he does not starve to death when I die.

Labels: CI, cochlear implant, retrench, school for the deaf